#that's looking more and more like the standard process
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Knock on the Door - Spencer Reid
₊‧⁺˖⋆ Masterlist ⋆˖⁺‧₊
Summary: In the midst of an intense investigation, Spencer and Derek bring you into protective custody after a disturbing discovery links you to their case. As you navigate the unexpected situation, Spencer’s calm presence offers reassurance, sparking an unexpected connection amid the chaos.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
The quiet street was a far cry from the usual high-stakes BAU scene, but the tension in the air made Spencer’s skin prickle with unease. He glanced at Derek, who was already preparing to knock on another door, exuding his usual calm confidence.
"This one could be a lead," Derek muttered, showing a slight glint of hope in his eyes as he raised his hand to knock. The case had been dragging on, and frustration was growing with each unanswered question.
When the door opened, Spencer noted the faint hint of confusion in your expression. Derek immediately flashed his badge, his tone respectful but firm. "Ma’am, I'm Agent Derek Morgan. This is my colleague, Dr. Spencer Reid. We’re with the FBI."
Your eyes darted between the two of them, registering the serious expressions they wore. "The FBI? What's going on?"
"Have you had any strangers come to your door recently trying to sell you something?"
A flicker of recognition passed over your face, and Spencer leaned in, catching the shift. "Actually, yes,” you said, brows furrowing. “A guy came by yesterday… He gave me his card.”
Spencer and Derek shared a look. "Do you still have that card?" Spencer asked, trying to keep the urgency out of his voice.
"Yeah, I think so. Let me grab it." You turned back into the house, leaving the door partially open, and returned a moment later with a card in hand. As Derek took it from you, he confirmed with a nod that it matched the cards left at the other crime scenes.
You looked between them, anxiety creeping into your voice. "What is going on? Who is this guy?"
Spencer’s voice softened, his gaze meeting yours directly. "We believe he's a dangerous criminal who may be responsible for several recent homicides. His method involves gaining entry to homes under false pretenses."
Your face paled as the weight of his words sank in. Derek placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "We need to take you back to the station to make sure you’re safe. There are some steps we’d like to take to ensure you’re protected while we gather more information."
"Safe? Is he going to try and kill me?"
Derek’s expression turned serious. "We have reason to believe he might try to come back, and it’s important we get ahead of him."
A sense of dread settled over you as you let their words sink in. You followed them to the car, feeling your stomach twist with a mix of fear and disbelief. As you settled into the backseat, Spencer turned to give you a reassuring nod.
“Just so you know,” he began, his tone gentle, ��we’ll have officers posted near your home to ensure he doesn’t have the chance to get in. We’re taking every precaution.”
“Thanks,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just… a lot.”
“Understandable,” Spencer said, glancing at you with a sympathetic look. “We’ll also have you meet with a sketch artist and undergo a cognitive interview. It’s standard procedure, and it might help us learn more about him.”
You looked out the window, processing the reality of the situation. The quiet chatter between Derek and Spencer drifted over you as they discussed possible motives, patterns, and theories. But for now, you were too lost in your own thoughts to make out their words.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
When you arrived at the station, Spencer took a moment to walk you through the cognitive interview process. "It’s designed to help you remember specific details," he explained, his voice calm and assuring. "It might feel intense, but I’ll be with you the whole time."
You nodded, glancing around the bustling police station, feeling a strange mix of curiosity and adrenaline. "Okay, so… I just answer questions, and you’ll be able to get a clearer picture of this guy?"
Spencer gave you a small smile. "Pretty much. Think of it as helping us paint a portrait. Every detail, no matter how small, could be useful."
The interview went smoothly; Spencer’s presence was patient and encouraging, never making you feel pressured to remember something you couldn’t. Afterward, he led you to a small break room, offering you a seat at a worn table with a coffee machine humming nearby.
A few minutes later, Spencer returned with two steaming cups, handing one to you. "Here," he said, "it's not gourmet, but it’ll keep us awake."
You took it gratefully, feeling a sense of normalcy settle in. "Thanks, Spencer." You sipped the coffee, savoring the warmth. "I didn’t expect to spend my afternoon in an FBI station, but… it’s definitely more interesting than my usual routine."
Spencer chuckled, seeming surprised by your laid-back attitude. "Most people aren’t as calm in situations like this."
You shrugged, feeling the weight of the situation but refusing to let it get the best of you. "I don’t know. I figure, if I’m in good hands, there’s no point in freaking out."
As you chatted, Spencer filled you in on some of the behavioral profiling techniques they used, giving you a peek into the mind of the BAU. His eyes lit up as he explained the ways they’d been analyzing the unsub’s behavior to find any possible patterns, and you found yourself genuinely interested, asking questions and absorbing his answers.
"Do you ever wonder why people do these things?" you asked thoughtfully, watching him as he considered your question.
"All the time," Spencer replied, his voice softening as he looked down at his coffee. "But there’s rarely a straightforward answer. The best we can do is study the behaviors and try to make sense of them. Hopefully, it helps us stop them."
A sense of respect grew in you as he spoke, and you found yourself admiring the dedication he had for his work. "That sounds exhausting. Important, but exhausting."
"It can be," he admitted, his gaze meeting yours. "But it’s worth it, especially when it means keeping someone safe. Like now."
You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you at his sincerity. "Well, I guess I’m lucky you guys were around."
The door to the break room opened, and Derek poked his head in, giving Spencer a grin. "You two doing all right in here?"
Spencer nodded, standing up to update Derek on the details you’d given during the interview. As they talked, you finished your coffee, feeling a strange sense of calm despite the unusual circumstances.
When Derek turned his attention to you, his gaze softened. "We’re going to have a team set up around your house tonight, keeping a close eye on things. We’ll catch this guy if he shows up."
You nodded, feeling reassured. "Thanks, Agent Morgan. I know you guys are handling it, so I’ll let you do your thing."
Spencer glanced back at you with a small smile. "If you need anything, or have more questions, just let me know."
As they walked you to the main desk, Spencer looked back, his gaze soft. "We'll keep you safe," he assured you once more, his sincerity unmistakable. "Until then, try not to worry. We’re on it."
A small smile tugged at your lips as you nodded. "I trust you," you replied, giving them one last grateful look before they escorted you to a waiting area. And as you waited, you felt a sense of calm, knowing you weren’t facing this alone.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
#fanfic#fluff#spencer reid#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid criminal minds#doctor spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer#spencer reid fanfic#dr reid#spencer x y/n#spencer x reader#spencer x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fic#criminal minds
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Can I request an angsty one where the reader and Marshall/Em/Slim (whichever you prefer) they have an argument and at one point he tells her he doesn't need her, he can have whoever he wants and they won't complain about anything like she does. And obviously she feels hurt bc it's always been an insecurity of hers that he could have anyone. And he just confirmed her fear. Hopefully with a happy ending tho🙏🏻❤️ please and thank you! Sorry it's so long lol.
needed - eminem
fem!y/n x Marshall Mathers
masterlist
synopsis: Marshall says he doesn't need her, but what does he do when he doesn't have her?
warnings: cursing, drinking
A/N: loved this request! very fun to write. if you guys want anything written, my asks are open. hope you enjoy!
-Fuck you!
-Oh, piss off!
Shouts could be heard from the Mathers residence that night. Y/N and Marshall were arguing over something stupid, again. They seemed to be having these arguments more and more often these days. This time, however, they were arguing over Marshall’s lack of communication. He’d have a bad day, be rude to Y/N, and when she’d ask what was wrong he’d blow up at her without telling her what bothered him. Today it seemed like he’d had an extra bad day.
…
He got home from the studio later than usual. Y/N was reasonably worried, and when she called, he wouldn’t answer. So, once he got home, she asked him a ton of questions; questions like “where were you?” “what happened?” “are you alright?”. This angered him to no end since he hates explaining himself to people.
He refused to answer questions. Y/N knew he’d probably just had a rough day so she decided to make him his favorite home-cooked meal and some hot cocoa and treat him to a lovely night at home. But, when she brought him his food and drink, he just told her he wasn’t hungry, even after seeing all the effort she was putting in for him.
That’s when something inside of her just snapped. She set the plate and mug on the table fecklessly, spilling some cocoa in the process. Marshall seemed a bit startled, knowing Y/N doesn’t usually throw fits like this and she usually keeps her temper in check.
-God, Marsh! Would it kill you to at least give me a thank you? I’ve tried so hard to find out what’s wrong, and you won’t tell me! What happened to me being your #1 and your best friend? And come on! Look at this meal I made for you! Can’t you see how badly I want you to let me help you?
-Fuck! I’m sorry I’m not living up to your boyfriend standards, Y/N! But, clearly, I had a rough day so just drop it!
-You know what Marshall? I have bad days too! But you don’t see me bitching about it and acting like a little kid every time something doesn’t go my way! And even when I do feel upset, I tell you what’s wrong! Because I actually care about your feelings and I wouldn’t want you to worry!
- Oh, so, now I don’t care?! All I ever do is care about you Y/N! I write songs about you, I buy you everything you look at to make you happy, not to mention I make you feel pretty damn good!
- It’s not about that Marsh! God, are you even listening to me?! I don’t care that you’re upset, or that you’re in a bad mood or feeling mean; I just want you to tell me! I want you to communicate with me! I want us to work through our problems calmly, without me having to shout to get your attention!
-You always say that, but you never actually do it! Whenever you’re upset you just stay quiet! So don’t go telling me how to deal with my problems because you sure as hell don’t know how to deal with yours!
-Fuck you!
-Oh, piss off!
-Fuck, Marsh! This isn’t about me! We can work through what I do, but you seriously need to stop!
-Stop it, Y/N! Stop already! If everything I do is so terrible and wrong, then why not just break up with me already?
-Because I love you! I care so much about you and I just wish you could see it.
-You’re just saying that because you know I don’t need your ass. You know I can get with whoever the hell I want and they won't criticize me or complain about everything I do half as much as you do!
Y/N stayed silent for a bit. Her heart dropped and she could feel the lump develop in her throat. All this time she was with Marshall, she’d had her insecurities. But, he helped her work through them slowly. He helped her make sure she knew he’d never hurt her like that.
But, now, all that hard work was out the window. With those simple words. The tears began to prick her eyes and she looked down at the floor to try and conceal it. She felt like a little girl being yelled at. She felt helpless, and small. The man who was supposed to love her the most, to protect her, had failed her. He made her feel alone.
Marshall instantly felt a wave of regret wash over him. He felt it surge from his mind up to the tips of his ears down to the points of his toes. He looked at the girl he loves, knowing how badly he just hurt her. He opened his mouth to apologize, knowing he’d gone too far and he didn’t mean it; but, before he could, she had walked past him and into their bedroom. He quickly turned on his heels to follow her.
Y/N was grabbing a few of her things: a hoodie, her phone charger, some gum, her earbuds, and some shoes. He once again tried to apologize but she wouldn’t hear it. He followed her all the way down to the garage and watched as she hopped in her car and sped off. He wasn’t sure where she was going, and, to be honest, neither was she.
She hated herself for complaining and she hated him for being so mean to her. But, deep down, she knew she loved him more than anything and everything. She gripped her steering wheel harder, and turned up the volume of the song she was listening to.
She pulled into the parking lot for some random bar she heard of from one of her friends. Her friend said it was the best place to go if you’re feeling sad or having a rough night.
When she walked in, the bar looked exactly how she felt. It was dimly lit, the smell reeking of alcohol and cigarette smoke. There were barely enough people to call a crown in there, all sitting far apart with a drink in hand. Everyone looked glum in there, so she’d blend right in. She sat at the bar and ordered herself a few shots of rum. She downed them quickly, not feeling much different. She then ordered herself a vodka, which she kept refilling until the bartender just gave her the bottle.
She kept feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. She assumed it was Marshall. She didn’t really want to respond, but she still looked, just in case. It was actually a text from her best friend asking what happened. Of course. Marshall texted her friend to see if Y/N was okay (since she usually goes to her best friend in times of need). Y/N decided not to answer, she was in more of a “fuck the world” kind of mood.
She set her phone down on the counter, finally feeling the effects of the alcohol. She wasn’t sure how she was going to get home or if she was going to get home at all. Before she could continue that thought, she saw a series of texts, making her phone buzz repeatedly.
The contact name read “marsh :)”. She truly didn’t want to speak to him at the moment. She wasn’t sure why what he said affected her this way, but it did, and he knew that. She knew she was probably just being sensitive, but she couldn’t help but feel attacked.
She looked at her phone again and saw Marshall’s concerned text chain.
“hello?”
“babyyy??”
“look baby i’m so sorry i know i messed up big time. please call me back so i can fix this.”
She didn’t bother reading the rest. She got more texts from him and her best friend. They seemed really concerned now. It was unlike Y/N, not answering the phone. It was cold, far too cold for someone of her character. However, Y/N wasn’t in the mood or the headspace to care about her character. She was too busy trying to keep her head upright as her vision blurred a bit from the effects of the white russian she was creating in her stomach at the moment. From that point forward, she couldn’t really recollect anything that had happened. The next thing she knew, she felt a pair of strong arms lifting her up by the waist and into their arms bridal-style.
…
The next day, Y/N woke up in her bed alongside a snoring Marshall that had his arms wrapped around her tightly. She slowly shimmied out of his embrace, head beginning to pound when she stood up. She went downstairs and sat at the kitchen table with a small tonic for hangovers in hand.
As she was washing the cup she was just using, Y/N heard a set of booming footsteps as they pounded against the wooden staircase. She turned around to look at Marshall. He looked incredible. His hair was a bit tousled and his eyes and lips were puffy. He came down and approached her without a second thought. The first thing he did was put his lips against hers. The kiss was warm, brilliant.
Y/N crumpled under his touch. He pulled back and smiled slightly at her. His heart grew seeing her in front of him. He smiled even wider when he saw her smile back; however, he knew he wasn’t forgiven just yet.
-Wait, look, I gotcha something.
He quickly walked into the living room and grabbed a small box and turned to the kitchen.
-I bought this a while ago. I wanted to give it to you somewhere better but this seemed like the right time.
Y/N opened the little box gingerly, a little nervous to see its contents. Her jaw dropped a tad when she saw it.
A small ring, diamond encrusted and the exact type of metal she wears. It was perfectly tailored to her tastes. She looked up at him, eyebrow slightly raised.
-It’s a promise ring. I know what I said last night was fucked up but I didn’t mean it at all. I love you more than anything and you know that. I could never be with anyone else knowing that you’re out there in the world.
He took the ring out of the box and secured it onto her finger. He then kissed her hand softly. She smiled taking in the view.
Then, she knew, more than anything, that she was truly loved.
#eminem imagine#eminem x reader#new writer boost#masterlist#writers on tumblr#eminem#marshall mathers#slim shady#hip hop#dr dre#50 cent#eminem fanfiction#eminem fluff#marshall Mathers x reader#slim shady x reader
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Day twelve of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut. prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))
Tim clears his throat and adjusts the collar of his shirt for honestly no good reason, and Kon keeps doing–Kon keeps beaming at him. There is just . . . there is just so, so much beaming happening right now, and it is very, very hard to concentrate on anything else. Or even, like, passingly think about anything else.
Kon looks–he just looks happy, and Tim feels flustered and overwhelmed and vaguely nauseous, but like, in a good way, somehow, and . . . it’s a lot. Yeah. Just–Tim is currently feeling a lot of things, is all. Just . . . a lot. So much.
Tim wonders if he could figure out a loophole to “legally” marry Kon despite the fact he’s fifteen and Kon is only maybe legally a person and/or citizen in the eyes of the government, because in that case even once Kon gets bored of Tim Drake he’ll be able to send him alimony payments or whatever, so–
Actually, Tim realizes as he looks at Kon’s beaming face–at Kon’s beaming face beaming at him–and feels Kon’s hand still gripping his easily and comfortably, and Kon still leaned in closer than necessary even as they walk along the sidewalk together . . .
Actually, he doesn’t feel like Kon’s getting bored with Tim Drake at all.
. . . . . . huh.
Weird, Tim thinks, a little too bewildered to figure out why he feels that way.
“Oh, hey, that looks good,” Kon says, perking up a little more as he looks at something over Tim’s shoulder and points past him with his free hand. “We need a new dinner place, right? Wanna try it?”
Tim looks where Kon’s pointing and frowns in confusion, because he’s pointing at a skate shop, of all things, not a restaurant or cafe or even a bar.
“I haven’t touched a skateboard in months and also I have no idea what that has to do with dinner,” he admits, still frowning in confusion, and Kon laughs.
“The food truck, babe,” he says with a snigger, pointing more emphatically. “You skateboard?”
“Uh–sometimes, yeah,” Tim says, refocusing his eyes to realize–yeah, there is in fact a food truck there, parked just to the side of the skate shop. It’s very . . . yellow. Very, very brightly yellow.
He can absolutely never, ever tell Bruce he missed something as obvious as a huge neon yellow food truck, Tim swears to himself, and then he actually registers what the truck says and . . . blinks, very slowly.
“Is that the one-dollar grilled cheese truck?” he says. “I thought that was a meme or something.”
“I mean, probably some bargain-basement content creator who thinks they're an influencer is running it as some publicity stunt shit, but one-dollar grilled cheese,” Kon says reasonably, except for how Tim cannot even imagine what about that statement would be “reasonable”.
“You want to get dinner from the one-dollar grilled cheese truck?” he asks, a little incredulous about the idea.
“We could get so many, babe,” Kon says with a gleeful grin. Tim, instinctively, is about to protest that they could get “so many” of whatever Kon wanted, in fact, and a truck that says both “cash only” and “no change given, figure out your own shit” in Impact font is literally just . . . what. What? But then he has a brief remembered flash of Dick saying there wasn’t any “one size dates all” and talking to him about circus tickets and tailoring dates to the other person's tastes and, well . . .
“Um, sure?” he says, still vaguely bewildered. Kon needs more expensive tastes. He needs to get Kon more expensive tastes. And also maybe, like, better standards for a “nice” dinner.
Kon beams at him again, giving his hand a squeeze, and Tim disassociates for a minute or two in an attempt to process any of that and entirely, entirely fails to.
. . . alright, maybe some of Dick’s dating advice was helpful, he reflects.
. . . . . . also to be fair, this also might be the Condiment King or some other D-lister about to start some shit, in which case it wouldn't hurt to throw a superhero at the problem anyway.
And at least it's gonna be a lot of calories, right?
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their date is going well c^^
another commission for @daroachie! of his OCs Carolyn(vulpix) and Erena(glaceon) going out apple picking
creating process:
this one was started straight into the rendered piece, though it wasn't initially going to funny enough
I first started with erena, as daro had made a rough example of what he thought she'd look like on the art (very silly, very unhinged)
my sketch started just as rough, including when I did carolyn, the plan was to then do another, nicer sketch for the render, but I ended up just touching up the rough more and more until it became a more standard pre-render sketch, I unfortunately did not save a pic from when It was more rough
one thing that ended up being the same was erena's face, cause I thought it looked funnier like that
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BLOOD: Fresh Supply
Monolith Productions (1997)
Remaster by Nightdive Studios (2019)
#blood fresh supply#gargoyle#caleb blood#monolith productions#nightdive studios#horror games#boomer shooter#build engine#first person shooter#fps#pc gaming#gif#experimenting with the gif process again. would like a higher framerate but if the clip is longer than a moment it won't fit on tumblr#also trying out smoother loops#had the most success with blood by capturing gif replay with radeon relive -> trimming the gif down in screenToGif#that's looking more and more like the standard process
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I do agree with the majority of what you say, but I think I disagree with the characterization of art as a transcendental beauty that exists fully independently of "political reasonance", of people and their interaction with the piece. The art doesn't exist in a vacuum, part of what makes it living is it's context and the communicative element it has with people. I think this interpretation here takes a fully subjective perspective on the art that I don't think quite captures the communicative, give-and-take aspect that I think we use to define art itself.
For example, when I engage with a piece of media I enjoy like the movie Office Space, a piece that has both pro-capitalist but anti-corporation elements, for example, I WILL be critical of some of these elements as the art does not exist in a vacuum, but I will also bring to the table a recognition of the qualities in the piece that met my axioms or expectations. And I think if I'm using my expectations, axioms, etc as a metric then the piece is going to be not fully subjective.
I do think there WILL be a layer of objectivity to that and I think the art itself should be looked at critically, we should ask what it's trying to say and what its appealing to, it SHOULD be the art's problem. We should ask if the piece is really tapping into an "aesthetic" very well, or, for example, if by appealing to the pro-capitalist aspects, if office space is not committed enough to doing so. Perhaps the piece was meant to interact with one aesthetic principle one form, and instead could be argued to be more strongly tied to another. That's where discussion about what a piece is saying becomes important.
By interacting with the art I'm bringing to the table my identity, my expectations and axioms and forms that I'm feeling pull on me, so I'm looking for these in a piece, and so it is entirely fair to criticize the piece for not meeting that expectation, especially if it demonstrates elements that otherwise engage with these themes that may have caught my attention to begin with. It leads to feeling misled by the piece, feeling like an aspect of the art isn't there that should be, as if the art is tied into larger aesthetic realities and they aren't being manifested by the instance of the work in engaging with. Of course, with a different perspective, a different set of axioms, I may indeed find that the piece IS meeting the standards of some other infinite form or transcendental aesthetic, but perhaps not the ones I'm looking for.
Ultimately I think you've made the art too transcendental here, removed too much of its humanity, defining art as a spectacle and nothing else rather than a communicative process that exists connected to ourselves as agents viewing it. Art can be a spectacle, but especially with art made for consumption, I think it is also made in a political context for real human minds, it is still communicative and it is not merely a spectacle. Claiming it is this and only this feels reductionist to me.
i dont think fight club was co-opted by the right because they didnt get the satire, it was co-opted because it fuckign kicks ass. they would have co-opted any movie that is that good and has hot sweaty men in it. right wingers aren't aliens, they know a good movie when they see it, the lesson isn't "don't make satire because the wrong people might think its for them" the lesson would be "don't make art that kicks ass" and i'd rather there be art that kicks ass
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fr tho @staff why are you trying to make tumblr more like other sites why are you destroying your niche in the market please there have got to be ways to make tumblr more accessible to new users without sacrificing the very things that your existing userbase loves
#its a genuine problem... I have had friends sign up for tumblr and then not use it because they dont know how to navigate non-algorithmic sm#but come on. there have got to be ways to build up the onboarding process so that people learn how to search for blogs + content#and/or ways to create separate contained algorithmic feeds OR to create the option to turn the algorithmic feed off like it is rn#and honestly I do think tumblr's focus should be more on 'how do we convince people non-algorithmic is good'#rather than 'how do we become algorithmic'#there's gotta be a whole angle in there right??? something like emphasizing that on tumblr you find the content YOU want#not the content we want you to want#also the whole thing about drawing in new creators. have they talked to existing creators??????? bc I dont know that they want algorithms#i dont know I just think tumblr will never be able to do the algorithm better than sites like FB or tik tok or even twitter#so if they try to become algorithmic they will fail to meet the standards of new users AND they will drive away the existing userbase#its a bad look. this is your niche. play to it. thats marketing 101
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Dr. D gets to dress-up as a cowboy, well, why not cousin Eddie? The look isn't original, he's dressed in Lemmy Kilmister's outfit from Motorhead's album Ace of Spades. Reference and discussion under the cut.
Lemmy is wearing belt and a bandolier, which is ridiculous and I found that challenging to incorporate into Motor Ed's proportions and the general KP style. I ended up omitting both and just stuck with the jacket, omitting tassels on the arm, and spade buttons. No signature KP-era Silver baggy pants as the band are basically wearing vacuum-sealed 70s jeans. The shine on the jacket is there to differentiate it from the rest of the outfit, since it's black on black on black - this took a good portion of my time. I had shine on Drakken's belt in his S1 model in-mind when doing the patterning. I am very lazy with colouring for fan art, so I just used the show's established black, colour-picked, of course. Same with the coloured portion of the line art.
The original sketch didn't have the tongue out with piercing, there was a stray line that looked like the start of something, so I went with it. I don't like this expression for him in his pose/scenario, so I stayed with the smirk. Built the rough clean body to try to figure out the shirt/jacket combination, since that would be very challenging with the layering and tassels.
#motor ed#kim possible#motor ed fan art#legendary art#kp villains#I like talking about my process#I may continue to do this with future pieces of fan art if I feel like it#Some are very straight forward. This one was actually very straightforward for me I think.#Single characters in a standard pose like this are fine#It's adding more than one + complex clothes (looking at you Shego-suit!) that gets me fiddling for a long while#...Motor Ed thirst traps? I'll see#It'll probably happen anyway LOL.#My favourite from Motorhead's outfits is the poncho look actually
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i would take their poison
Sketch + Line Art for those Clicking Under the Cut(tm) (archival purposes honestly)
#moshi monsters#sweet tooth moshi monsters#experimentation i am COG AWFUL at digital dear goodness i was playing with coloring and transparency and all those fun digital doodads.#next time i probably wont have black outline or i'll do it differently. or i'll try well. not doing this. it sure was a process im#i'm an amateur everyone who masically only doodles. does the sketch look better than the final. kinda! but thats okay because im learning#and y'know what. sometimes in life you just need to draw faves no consequences#for how saturated a character they are i kinda feel like i pastelled things too muc and trapped myself with my convoluted layer setup but m#it was looking WEIRD with everything at full force#maybe the sparkles look dumb maybe the hair looks dumb and out of place and why i kinda made the lollipop a little funky too#uhh. first digital piece posted... ever?#the arm is SO fucky i am not that was. thats not what perspective is spam#yes this is what i spent a good chunk of today doing after i started working on coloring it and then. decided to go for it.#cooolrs a little inaccurate on the horns and such but man one of the biggest art things was like#i dont have to have everything at their perfect hex codes all the time. this would look way worse if i just. used their standard colors#yeah this is. instead of looking like its forward and to the right it kinda just looks like they have a Bigger hypno-lolly#especialy becase. i did not bother on the gloves and platforms i the sparkles work with 2 kinda sorta but you know#im practicing! i'm learning! i'll get better and learn how to do things more effectively!#anyway. sweet toof#though hey their arm looks even more fucked in the line art and sketch SO#note to future self have a Consistent Line Art Size so that if you feel like the line art looks like shit during coloring you dont have to#gamble on what size it was while changing it#sketch lollipop looks better i should have kept it small. but its fine. we'll get em next time boys (tm)#yes i know my gif post was so fancy and then the drawing is just THIS
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I mean, nothing I said was suggesting that nothing can or should be done. I have a couple things I can think of but people are already rightly pointing out that my experience, like all experiences, isnt universal. Calling out a shallow take isn't something I'm doing because I'm so so wise and I know how to fix everything.
I have heard the take that part of the fix for this will probably be a lot more white men with podcasts, and that is almost definitely *part* of the fix. It is legitimately difficult for young men to find content about random ass basic hobbies that isn't being served to them by low-key fascists. That needs to change. When talking with other progressive men, something that came up a lot was after school programs, especially ones that bring boys in more contact with their communities and expose them to different kinds of people in positive ways. Hate breeds in ignorance and isolation.
You already seem very anti-terf, which is great. That is also part of it. I don't honestly think that women are the cause of this problem but like, in terms of fixing this and convincing men that feminists are on their side, yeah, some small part of it is probably looking at the state of feminism currently and recognizing that it has devolved in many very public online spaces into reactionary gender essentialism and that radical feminism takes up a lot more air than anyone would like to pretend it does. "Sure I wholeheartedly reblogged something that claimed that any man who seems decent is just trying to let women's guards down to make it easier to assault them, something all men are trying to do to women at all times, but that's just venting. Ignore that broadside that me and my friends just unloaded on you and everyone who looks anything like you, if you think that your hurt feelings about that matter, that's on you for not recognizing that our pain justifies saying literally whatever we want" (to call up a random example) is certainly a standard that it is possible to enforce in some more isolated corners of the internet, but there has been a serious breakdown between the personal and the public, which is hell for messaging as a movement. This is no longer drinks with friends, this stuff gets broadcast worldwide to men who are trying to get a sense of what feminism is about. At some level, what is cathartic to say will have to give way to what is tactically wise to announce. The only men who will willingly share space with that sentiment if it is core to this movement are either convinced that they are personally exempt from examining their own privilege, which is its own problem, or men who agree wholeheartedly that all men are evil, them included, and are trying to atone. I've interacted plenty with both in male feminist spaces. It's not a winning team. I am aware how hard that will be. 4B type political lesbianism/lesbian separatism seems to be having a moment (at least as a meme) right now as people process their grief in this moment. That's understandable. But it's not wise.
Considering this is happening in the wake of the US election, and I'm saying this as a Canadian, it's also worth gently and precisely noting that even if the harm is the same, someone who voted for trump didn't necessarily do it because they despise women. If we're just looking at the raw numbers and saying "we're doomed", that's probably not helpful or, luckily, accurate. The project of changing the cultural narrative is huge and depressingly long. The rise of reactionary right wing populism when a society starts failing its young people economically isn't. That is a different, and much easier project. If you don't want people to vote for right wing populism, you need to give them left wing populism, and infiltrating the democratic party and pulling all the same tricks the right did but towards economic policy that will provide the next generation of men with the opportunity to own homes and pull their weight supporting families will do a hell of a lot more in a much shorter time than systematically changing each and every man's heart, especially considering a lot of the people who voted for trump weren't men. This project will outlast us, but MAGA doesn't have to.
If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.
"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.
Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.
Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.
You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."
Problem with that being:
1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.
2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.
3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.
4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.
I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.
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Not to be that person but Panem had nearly 75 full Hunger Games before their system of government was overthrown. 75(+?) years. But things changed in the end. This too shall pass (but not without active participation)
#the hunger games#usa politics#honestly this is such a bad way to conceptualize it in the real world. but maybe this’ll help frame things a little differently?#I hope what I’m trying to get at comes across#I definitely needed the day (still had to work but I mean mentally)#I’ve been keeping up with everything—I personally have been keeping up with things politically for years so that’s just my standard.#but I’ve been an observer today#politics#I’m tagging politics mostly just so others can avoid it if they want—I didn’t want this side blog to be a main source of my politics#but I thought this was fitting#2024 presidential election#i’m tired.#i’m so tired yall#please keep doing what you’re doing or arguably more *if you can do so sustainably#I’ve seen a lot of people expressing that this is the time to process and feel all the feelings#and then we’ll organize/evaluate our situation ‘tomorrow.’#I personally would recommend looking into the policies Trump is explicitly supporting (and other possibilities) WHEN you’re in a good space#and then going from there#I’m not advocating for panic or rash decisions#but like I do literally want people to make informed choices in the face of things like this—like getting involved with organizations#etc#here’s my rant#(pleaseeeeeee let this not get too much negative attention)
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Lost my original post of this from the other day but I genuinely don't understand how Black Butler discourse ever shifted into the does Sebastian ~really~ like Ciel or is Ciel just dinner line of conversation that is pervasive as it is because Sebastian is the one that has absorbed his whole existence into Ciel's. Sebastian's face is what Ciel wants Sebastian's whole purpose is doing things for Ciel Sebastian's every hell of a butler yes my lord speech is about how he's Ciel's and Ciel is the one going around saying shit like whatever Sebastian is just my pawn 💅
#like sjdjdkdd??????#it's not that i don't think ciel loves sebastian per se bc. well. i don't think he'd ever process it in terms like that no matter what...#...kind of relationship they have bc the most important thing to him is getting him to do tasks like a dog and proving he will over and over#which is why sebastian does it all so overkill#but the most acknowledgement you ever get that ciel likes sebastian is stuff like idk the fucking book of atlantic you did good today#or if we're feeling really crazy the you were the only demon there line#like the dynamic has gotten way skewed in fandom away from the actual text#and i know why but it's still annoying bc i am not even saying this in a shippy way bc i don't give a fuck about ships#but they're so crazy entwined and in completely incomparable inhuman situations that it literally has no merit on this story to sit and...#...definitely piece together how this relationship works with real life normie standards like it literally is going to fit into no box of...#...what we think of as friends or siblings or parents or partners bc no victorian guy on the face of the earth has a real pet demon.#it's so boring you're missing the bigger picture that they're everything to each other and completely stuck together forever#does x mean y mean z? (least problematic answer only) they're stuck together! forever!#and no one has demons in real life it's all comparable to real life nothing#other than the asthma that's real#anyway. it's like fandom has made up a version of this story in their heads that is so devoid of anything that makes the story the story#twitter is like another planet for this i am mostly talking about twitter where i have been looking for news about the anime and oh boy#i have said this before but sebastian doesn't have a grip on human relationships bc he's not one and ciel doesn't give a fuck#but like this post started with and strayed from. well. sebastian isn't even trying to act like he's indifferent. ciel actually is.#and we're all missing several funny bits from that just trying to fit everything into a box#we could have more interesting conversations if we got past the same three people have been having for 20 years#kuroshitsuji#my kuro posts
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For Ericka Van Helsing:
A. Possibly not in so many words, but she gets the gist. She probably more thinks of, like, Pavlov's Dog than her brand of conditioning, but she's got the basic idea.
B. Kind of, yes. She's got YEARS of anti-monster racism, anxiety, hero complex, and repression to unpack and unlearn. Her biggest thing is the anti-monster racism, since that almost led to alot of people DYING and she now has a family of monsters, but she's trying to learn to relax and enjoy her new found freedom too.
C. It's a big drive for the more rebellious, mischievous, and adventurous part of her nature. She's both trying to figure out who SHE is outside of her expectations as a Van Helsing, as well as learn more about the world she was sheltered from - especially what things about monsters she's learned are true and what isn't. It's also a big reason she's less judgemental ("Hey, I'm in NO position to judge ANYONE. I was an accomplice to GENOCIDE and attempted murder 5 times! Whatever you did couldn't POSSIBLY be worse than THAT!") and she loves to push boundaries and see just what she can get away with - remember, she's a rich kid who resented being held to high standards and expected to follow strict rules her whole life and now is looking to indulge herself as much as possible. And more willing to give people who TRULY WANT to get better a second chance. After all...she used to be a hateful killer herself until someone showed HER kindness. She's also learned the best way to learn about someone is to befriend them and get them playing rather than studying or hating them.
However, as bouncy and optimistic as Ericka tries to be...it's a little harder to shake the idea that whatever she does, however much she tries to be better... there's a part of her that'll always be a bigoted, homicidal and genocidal maniac, the guilt she carries of the things she and her family has done, and the fear she could easily relapse and turn into Great-Grandfather in some way. Not only disappointing her new family but costing innocents their lives in the process. One of her biggest worries with the twins is both not loving them enough since their half monster AND treating them coldly because HER parental figure was strict and cold. She wants them to know their loved and for them to have freedom. But Drac and Mavis turned into Vlad and Drac without even trying. Can she really hope to be any different?
questions for conditioned characters
A) do they know what conditioning is? B) do they understand that they've been conditioned? C) how does this understanding, or lack thereof, affect their perception of themselves?
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getting slapped in the face bcus 19 usd ended up being almost 29 cad. 🥲 help
#i hate you conversion rates. i can onky donate through PP bcus the pages never accept my cards#they stay processing for. ive tested. literally an hour+.#so im subject to whatever paypal wants to charge me instead of a more realistic or standard conversion rate#i want to scream. idk if i could afford that extra 10$ and im scared to look ♡#i have money coming in and thats all i have to keep chanting to myself. i can pay rent i can pay my automatic withdrawls i wont be evicted#i wont be subject to late fees im going to be okay and im doing a good thing. jfc.#i just feel like im doing nothing when i see how little i can afford to give to fundraisers in usd and euro#and a lot dont process/accept PP which makes me want to cry.
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i think the thing that no one tells you about being forced into being a high achieving child/teen is how much it comes to fuck you over later in life when you can’t do anything without holding yourself to an insane level of perfectionism and then you realize it’s basically leeched all the fun out of any hobbies you created for yourself and left you with a shell of a personality
#like I was having this convo with my mom about how I used to do so much in high school and college#and granted a lot of it was to look smart or well rounded for college and dental school apps which is I guess it’s own thing#but now that I don’t have another goal to work towards my life feels more stagnant and I guess I feel like more of a failure?#even though that’s absolutely not true I just see other people always on the grind and feel guilty for not wanting to do as much anymore#bc I’m tired and burnt out from everything#and the worst part is that it extended into my hobbies too#like I used to love baking and painting and being creative until I just set such insane standards for myself#like if something wasn’t perfect or aesthetic or worthy of being displayed as like a trophy#my effort and the process and time invested into it counts for nothing#not to be controversial but sometimes writing feels that way too#i think it’s a mental battle I have with myself but it makes me sad how many hobbies I used to have and enjoyed#that were then destroyed by burn out and perfectionism and imposter syndrome#this turned into a rant#will probably delete later#but I just had to say it somewhere#isi rambles
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Movies I’ve Watched - 2024
323/?: Coal Miner’s Daughter (1980) - watched 11/12/24
This is in a lot of ways a standard musical biopic, but it works better than most because Loretta Lynn’s story was truly unique. I wish it spent more time on her creative process — covering a song like “The Pill” and exploring why the topic was important to her would have been nice. Sissy Spacek does a great Loretta Lynn impression. I went through the whole movie thinking she was lip syncing. Tommy Lee Jones is good but the red hair and brows make him look like a White Chicks character.
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